Jesus reminded me of something last night…. Fear lies.
Think about that for a second. Fear lies… Those insecurities you have? That’s fear and it’s lying to you. Fear tells us we can’t. Fear tells us no. Fear tells us to give up.
I was sitting in the middle of a worship service about to leave. I was freaking out. I had been going to a college ministry for a while and I knew no one. I had talked to all of 2 people. And it’s absolutely terrifying to keep showing up each week by myself. In that moment my fear told me to walk out, give up, and forget about it. Just as I was about to grab my stuff and go Jesus splashed some cold water in my face (not literally… though that would have been funny).
He reminded me that my fear lies. And for whatever reason Jesus keeps drawing me to that ministry. Lonely or not. He drew me to sign up for their retreat. He drew me to sign up for small groups. Everything about them represents my greatest fears; being alone, being rejected for my past, getting hurt.
One of my favorite things about Jesus is His bravery. He lived the absolutely craziest, scariest, tumultuous life. I mean He left literal perfection and glory to come down to a messy, painful existence. He did that because He loves us and His glory was magnified through His life on Earth. In that moment of my fear, He totally understood me. My desire to run and pretend that awkwardness never existed. But He called me to stay. To trust Him. To be bold and call Satan out on his lies. John 15:9 says, “As the Father as loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” That section talks about how we, as Christians, do not bear fruit apart from Jesus. We writher up and die without Him as out life source. I find the phrase, “abide in my love,” to be absolutely radical. How do you live in someone’s’ love? Find a seat a glue your butt to it? It’s not something my mind instantly wraps around but there’s something really beautiful in it. Living with Christ in such communion that His love is your literal identity and existence.
Woah. I can’t promise that showing up to a scary situation will always be easy or without pain. Jesus doesn’t promise a life without pain. He does promise to always show up. Going on a retreat with a bunch of people I didn’t know? Not my favorite feeling. But it was so good for me. Good because I heard the name of Jesus proclaimed. Good because I met some cool people. Good because Jesus called me there. He wanted me to go and through my weakness His strength was only magnified.
So I challenge you, go out. Be brave. Let Jesus show up for you.